My Body is Finally Morphing.

I have this friend who is 10 years older than me, and I've known her since I was 18. 

When I turned 21, she told me that my body would go downhill now.  Downhill?  Did she mean like in the cartoons when someone rolls a snowball down a hill and it gets bigger and bigger?  Was I going to be as round as I was tall?

Nothing happened.  When I turned 25, the same statement was made.  30, here she goes again.  35!  I pretty much still had the same shape.  She was misinformed.  Right?  I could still run, bike, do a roundoff!

Right around the 36 mark it started.   In the mirror I thought I still looked the same, but as pictures of me were taken between then and now, I noticed that I didn't look as "fit" as I thought I did.  My waist seems to have been stolen, as I take on a rectangular shape in my middle area.  When did I start buying "Medium" in shirts?  How do you get cellulite above your knees?  Why do I sometimes make a little groaning noise when I get up from sitting too long?  Dear Lord, help me!

And gray hair?  My sister told me to come and complain to her when I found one "down yonder."  It turns gray?  I think it's time for a Brazilian wax....

I Don't Really Need to Read About Others Dating Woes.... I've Got My Own

I had dinner with girlfriend's Saturday night. They were shocked to learn that I hadn't been blessed by reading a certain blog about a girl from Buffalo who blogs about her serial-dating life, has been on the news and in it, and is trying to score a book deal.

Honestly, I couldn't get past the first 5 posts.  In those few posts, I garnered a couple things.  She's materialistic and likes to drink (and I don't mean water).  Do I need to read ALL the minute details of this girl's escapades?  I was bored, like I had read this stuff before.  If you've been the dating world, nothing this gal writes is new.  Give me something fresh!  Nothing I've seen on Sex and the City and the countless blogger sites about dating disasters.

I could go into all my nightmare dates, but I can sum them up in a few words:  bad kisser, stalker, hates women, drugs, suicide, alien-believer, liar.... 

But, alas, we still go out and try to find "the one...."

Chins Up!

This morning I looked in the mirror a little too long.  Looking straight ahead, if I even tilt my head down a nano-inch there is this strange mass of what looks like another chin!  Ok, it doesn't "look like."  IT IS!    Whenever my sisters and I take pictures together, one of us will always yell, "chins up" before the shutter goes off.


There are exercises I can do like pressing my tongue to the roof of my mouth, but as I'm watching myself do that in the mirror, I look like an African bullfrog croaking.

There's this man that wanders downtown walking while looking up at the sky....ALL THE TIME!!  I don't know how he hasn't bumped into anything or been taken out by a car while crossing the street.

Forget the exercising; he's going to be my new trainer.

The Geriatric Denied Responsbility...

What has this world come to?  As you know, my Pepsi Can (Honda) was hit by a red light runner the other day.  After the man told the policewoman that I hit him I told him politely, "excuse me, but I was stopped at a red light.  Oh and by the way, I have a witness."  A nice utility worker saw everything and gave me his information.

I saw my car yesterday in the shop...she's going to be okay, but pretty banged up ($3,800 worth).  The man's insurance company phoned me and said that his insurer denied any responsibility.  Um, hello?  He then went on to tell me that they contacted my witness and he was very credible...yayyy!  So they will pay for everything, including a rental for 9+ days.

An old man lying?  Come on!  Isn't he supposed to be doing good so he gets a free pass at the Pearly Gates?

That witness was my ace in the hole, thank goodness for that.  I will be sending him a gift certificate for a nice restaurant.  Everyone likes to eat, right?

By the way, I was not hurt at all.  Thank God for that!

My Little Pepsi Can (Honda) SMASHED

So I'm heading back to work from lunch yesterday.  I'm at the intersection of East Tupper and Washington waiting for the light to turn green.  Anyone who rides this stretch of road knows that people try to get through
all the lights on East Tupper so they can just sail onto the 33.  Well, they changed the timing of them.

Light turns green for me, I go, and the next thing I know I am facing the building on the corner and staring at two
cars that were waiting to go. I look to my right and there is an elderly gentleman who's car is parallelally (new word) hugging mine.  We are stuck together.

We get the cars apart, wait 15 minutes for the police (and those who know this corner, KNOW there is a police station right on the corner.  I could have walked over there and told them.  A nice gentleman from National Grid gave me his info and said he saw the guy blow the light and hit me.

Officer May shows up and the old man takes her to the side and says, "I don't know what happened.  I think she ran the light."  Are you kidding me?  Was this happening?  I tried to keep my calm and politely ask how I could "run" a light when I was in a "stop" position.

I am now waiting for the insurance companies to duke it out.  I'm not paying for any of this.  So, I walked home from work yesterday and rode my bike this morning.  35 degrees!  So I have a cold by the end of the week.  It's not like I'm going anywhere.

"Blocked" by a Celebrity Twitter-er

Or is it "tweeter?" 

One of my favorite actors growing up was John Cusack.  From the geek, Bryce, in Sixteen Candles (OK, I liked Jake Ryan more then) to Lane Meyer, to Lloyd Dobler, to Rob Gordon, to.... OK, you get my drift.

A few months ago I set up a Twitter account and followed maybe 8 people (I could not get on the Twitter-train for some reason).  Cusack was one of them I followed (notice the past tense).

I would read about Cusack taking motorcycle rides with his friends and the all-American places he was ending up mixed with rants of "satanic death to Fox News and GOP leaders."

When it first hit the airwaves, I tweeted him about the ruckus.

One of my favorite celebrity websites is Crazy Days and Nights.  He posted a blog about who your ideal boyfriend would be:  Lloyd Dobler (Cusack), Jake Ryan (Schoeffling), or Edward Cullen (Pattinson).  I "tweeted" this to Cusack.  

Ok, so I sent two tweets to Cusack.  I logged in one day and noticed I wasn't "following" him anymore.  I tried searching for him.  No luck.  Could John Cusack have blocked me from following his life of Twitter because of two random tweets I sent?  Did he consider me similar to the lady arrested in 2008 for stalking him?  (Of course, she was just a "misunderstood penpal.")

I've decided to ban all Cusack-related material.  It's people like me (in the 80's) who made him famous by spending my hard-earned babysitting money on seeing his movies over and over again.  Oh my, maybe I'm being harsh.  I'll still watch Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil any day.

Out...

Clothing Swap with the Girls

So this coming Saturday, I am invited for Girls Night.  The theme is Oktoberfest and Clothing Swap.  We bring clothes that we no longer want, but maybe our girlfriends want.  Whatever is not picked will be donated to a women's shelter.

While this is commendable, I fear that nothing of mine will get picked.  You see, I am the 41 year old who hangs with 30-somethings.  Yes, we are all in the professional world, but I am not really a trendy-Forever 21-type gal.  I prefer staple clothing. Preppy, classic, Ralph Lauren. In other words, BORING!

What if no one wants my stuff?  Will they look at me differently when they see the size 6 on some of my items, but a size 10 on other, wondering which one I am NOW?  Will they think I have hideous style or what part of the closet did I find that poly-blend, shoulder-padded blazer in?


Screw it!  Maybe I'll just bring handbags, jewelry and shoes to swap....